The Los Angeles Times reports that NBA player Delonte West, whose last job was with the Celtics, has taken a job selling furniture. (Visit the Times ’ sports blog.)
In the event of an NBA lockout, there are some other gigs that come to mind for certain players, such as:
Dwyane Wade—doctor. Radio doctor, to be precise. Wade showed his talent for diagnosing patients long-distance when he pooh-poohed Dirk Nowitzke’s purported fever during last year’s Finals.
Kobe Bryant—cartoon actor. The Lakers star could reprise the Michael Jordan role in Space Jam, this time with a slightly darker take. Kobe would disrespect and alienate teammates Porky Pig and Daffy Duck and then precipitate an intergalactic furor by hurling a sexual slur at the Martian referee.
Carmelo Anthony—chocolatier. Each box of Carmelos could be wrapped with a colorful headband. The candy’s shelf life would be a short one—a month, say, before it turned sour.
Chris Paul—seafood mogul. The savvy playmaker would join forces with another famous Paul personage to market Chris and Mrs. Paul’s New Orleans fish sticks.
Tim Duncan—pastry chef. Tim Duncan Donuts, with no frosting, no holes and in one flavor only, would appeal mostly to gourmets.
Derek Rose---salesman. Just so we could say “Rose peddles.”
Zach Randolph—outbuilding manufacturer. The enterprise would be called—what else?—Z-Bo’s Gazebos.
Lebron James—anything, so long as he wakes up every day and has the same personal worries he had yesterday.
